A while ago, I had the fun opportunity to chat with Chris and Erick on the Citylight Family Podcast about emotionally healthy leadership. It’s a topic close to my heart because, by God’s grace and great sense of humor, he has been faithful to show me repeatedly that it is something I do NOT have all figured out. In fact, shortly after recording that episode, I stepped into one of the most emotionally exhausting seasons of leadership I’ve experienced so far. Honestly, I’m still in it a little bit. And yet, God has been so kind. He continues to meet me, just as he always has, and keeps doing the slow, healing work in areas where I still wrestle with wounds, pride, insecurity, and the temptation to act like I’m superhuman.
So, from the middle of my own mess, I’d love to share some reflections on healthy leadership as we enter the joyful but chaotic season of Advent in the lives of our churches. This is a time of real celebration and incredible opportunity for the gospel to reach people’s hearts. But it also brings real pressures, especially for ministry leaders, to make Christmas meaningful for our churches and our families. Without intentionality, we can easily slip into exhaustion, comparison, or get buried under wounds and grief, which often resurface this time of year.
Thankfully, the wonder of Advent reminds us that the meaning of this season is not found in what we do but in what God has already done. He came to us before we performed, prepared, or proved anything. With that in mind, here are a few principles I believe can help us lead this season from a place of health, humility, and deep rest in our Savior.
1.) Let the miracle of Christ’s coming minister to you first.
Before leading others into wonder, worship, hope, or celebration, let God do that work in you. Be diligent to carve out some space each week to slow down, be totally still, and let the warmth of God’s love wash over you to the point that all you can do is whisper an awe-filled “thank you.” We must approach Advent not just as a powerful message to deliver but a miraculous reality to receive in our own hearts. As my favorite Christmas hymn suggests, may we fall on our knees first, recognize our soul’s worth in the light of the incarnation, and minister from that place of awe-filled gratitude.
2.) Embrace the vulnerability of the incarnation.
Jesus came needy, small, and dependent. This is what it means to be human, and we are no different. Leaders often feel pressure to have it all together, especially this time of year. But we are not immune to grief, weariness, and other personal struggles that can surface around Christmas. It is okay to lead from vulnerability, to ask for help, to say you’re tired or grieving, to show up as you are and be a witness to your church of how God desires to rescue and use humble, ordinary, broken vessels—not polished personas—to proclaim his good news. Your God entered this weary world, knows what you carry, and does not expect you to carry it as anything more than human.
We are not the Savior. He came to us first in this weary darkness and then said, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” We are the ones who point people to this Savior, and we often do that best when we know our need, when we can say, “I may still see and feel the weight of the darkness, but I know the Light who has overcome it.” Only the fully human and fully divine Man of Sorrows can carry the weight of the world and conquer it. And that is good news for us needy humans.
3.) Resist the temptation to make your church impressive.
While the Advent season can provide so much beauty and refreshment for our souls, it also can come with many ministry traps: “The worship needs to sound amazing,” “The kids’ ministry needs to have the most creative activities,” “The sermons need to hit all the right emotions with the best illustrations.” Whatever it may be, we can fall into treating Advent more like a brand strategy than an opportunity to reflect on real love come down, real hope for our weary world, real peace and goodness for humankind that our Savior has brought.
Making Advent an opportunity to prove something about our church is a recipe for anxiety, exhaustion, and disappointment. There is nothing wrong with making this season special, but resist the urge to measure yourself or your ministry by attendance numbers, perfectionism, or comparison. Instead, reflect on the fruit you want to see grow in the lives and hearts of your church family in this season, and pray constantly for the Holy Spirit to grow that fruit. Be a faithful steward of what he lays on your heart as you pray. Again, Jesus did not come impressive—he came faithful and obedient.
4.) Lead with eternity in view.
Advent is not simply about remembering the Christmas story; it is about anticipation. We celebrate Christ’s first coming because it guarantees the Second. With this view in mind, we can step back and recognize this season for what it is: an invitation to hope.
I don’t know what you are facing right now in your life or in your ministry. Maybe you also feel like you’re in somewhat of an emotionally exhausting season. Maybe you’re in a season of joy and expectation. Either way, what I do know is that life and ministry are unpredictable, and hard things come. Jesus told us that we would have trials and tribulation in this world. But, friends, in all that unpredictability and hardship we have an immovable hope. We have a God whose love is set upon us. He came once to redeem us and to overcome the darkness, and he will come again to restore all things.So, you can minister this season knowing that the weight of the world is not yours to carry. You can lead not to impress but to bear witness. You can shepherd from a place of rest, humility, and vulnerability. You can look beyond what you’re facing right now and fix your eyes on that new and glorious morn that we are promised will break through again.
May we lead this Advent not out of our own strength but out of the deep and steady assurance that Christ has come, Christ is with us, and Christ will come again.
Jenny Hietbrink
citylightsouth.church
jenny@citylightsouth.church